“Difficult situations cannot be resolved through denial and healing cannot happen through brute force. Moving through any difficult situation requires tenderness and vulnerability.” —Sienna Gonzales, @somewhere_in_june Healing cannot happen through brute force. This sentiment struck me. In the past, I have been intentional and a bit rigid with my practices of self-care. Meditation in the mornings and evenings, yoga classes three times a week, designated social time with friends, balanced meal prep for the week; everything was structured in order to pursue a visually well-balanced schedule. The color-coded boxes that signified various categories of projects/meetings/family/social/self-care were all measured in relation to each other. But just as routines go, my self-care started to become a checklist that added “to-dos” to the already long lists of to-dos. My pursuit of self-care stopped feeling like care. While the intention of discipline originated as tenderness for myself, it evolved into a feeling of healing through brute force. Two to three years into the doula life and still figuring out “self-care,” I remember hearing a podcast with Jill Schock (Death Doula L.A.), and the host asked her how she cares for herself. She said (and I’m paraphrasing because I can’t find the episode), “After a client dies, sometimes I have to sleep for the entire day after.” Hell yes. Keep reading INELDA Educator Erika Lim's article Nowhere to Be, Nothing to Do here: https://inelda.org/nowhere-to-be-nothing-to-do-2/ (fb)

We 💜 our INELDA Volunteers! Mary Connor shares, “It was an exciting opportunity for me that INELDA scheduled in-person training at University of Texas, Austin. By volunteering, I got to see how the training evolved since I’d taken it online, and I got to connect to new doulas in my area and help them connect with our Austin Meetup groups for death doulas and Death Cafes. For example, I met a woman in the training who has a major role with a hospice home at the tiny house community right next to mine, and we plan to volunteer together. I was gratified by how regularly the instructors pulled me into the class and invited me to share, such as when I explained my mother’s items that I brought in for the memorial altar. I also felt very involved and useful by serving to round out the pair processes, when attendees needed partners. For me, volunteering was a gift and the time was very well spent!” Thank you Mary, and all our volunteers, for giving of your time and passion to INELDA! (fb)